Some of my guitar collection

My current collection contain of:

Starchild. Once a humble Telecaster, now a work of art courtesy of an artist called Alan He will paint a guitar for you as well if you give him large amounts of money and a degree of freedom. Alan likes painting images of girls who are suffering from a shortage of clothes. Please contact me if you want him to do work for you. This guitar is equipped with two Seymour Duncan pickups that give it a classic sound.

Excalibur. Not a sword but an axe if you will pardon the term. This guitar was built for me by Rick of Sticks and Strings in Thatcham, Berks, England. Again, this is very similar to the Telecaster design of Fender (bless you, Fender and please don’t sue me) and equipped with Kent Armstrong pickups. Like Excalibur, this bears the Voodoo logo since they come from the same stable.

Fender Stratocaster. A stock Mexican model. I haven’t changed this one at all because it was exactly perfect for me as it arrived. There is a line in a Meatloaf monolog “I once killed a boy with a Fender guitar. I don’t remember if it was Stratocaster or a Telecaster … It had a heart of chrome and a voice like a horny angel”. Silly boy. That is clearly a Stratocaster. I prefer the Mexican version to the US version as the pickups are a little brighter. This is an exceptional example.

Epiphone Les Paul. In honey sunburst. Again, a stock guitar. It is pleasant enough but it always leaves me feeling a little unsatisfied. It plays well and sounds just fine but somehow the magic isn’t there. Sometimes I just can’t get no satisfaction.

Epiphone SG400. This is a stock guitar except that I had the pickups replaced with Seymour Duncan’s. The result is rather pleasing. The intent was to have Gary Moore on the neck and Carlos Santana on the bridge but it is actually rather good for laid back jazzy blues. The Bigsy Tremelo looks so good but it serves no purpose since I never use it.

Tanglewood Baby. A tiny guitar that thinks that it is a Martin or a Taylor. This is a joy to play with a low action and a sound full of life and tone. It sounds as if it is a dreadnought (if perhaps a tad quiet) but is smaller than an electric. I can take it anywhere and the sounds will stand up to any fair measure. I am sure that this is due to the Stika spruce soundboard and the Mahogany back, sides and neck. The fingerboard is ebony. It is a little neck heavy but I can forgive a few faults in a loved one.

Brunswick Acoustic in Sunburst. A good all round strumming guitar with a lot of top end. It isn’t remarkable but it is very playable and I rather like the look of it.

Yamaha Pacifica 112… well, it was once. This is a guitar that I got second hand from the lead guitarist of a Nu Metal band. It plays well and has a versatile range of tones thanks to the unidentified Seymour Duncan pickup in the bridge. It is a good guitar for casual play or for loaning to friends… after all, a ding or two won’t really spoil it. I have come to like the appearance even if it is very rough and ready. I can accept it for what it is.

Tanglewood shark. I liked the look (i.e. Shark shaped with a paint job to match) and it has a built in amp and speaker. Points for: It looks fun and can be played without an amp. Points against: It is horrible to play and has a sound like a banjo being played through a baked bean tin. It is true what they say. A fool and his money are soon parted. Even plugged in to a class A tube amp, it still sounds appalling.

Kramer Striker in cracked black ice. This guitar says ROCK. No, it screams it. It also demands Spandex outfits and big hair. The neck pickup is a hot humbucker. The bridge pickup is a Quadbucker – 4 rail pickup in one. If you need a little more output (and who could????) you can have both neck and bridge pickups on at the same time. 6 pickups anyone?

In a change of pace, a Yamaha classical guitar. Perfect for those more contemplative moments. It is an older guitar and that has given it a degree of maturity. It is less than ideal for playing “Smoke on the water”.

Ninja Katana Strat copy, This is a bit of a mystery. It is Strat shaped with knock-off pickups. It plays well enough and it at least 20 years old. It is cheaply made but somehow plays and sounds very well indeed.

Danelectro doubleneck. This is the version with a 6 string and 12 string necks rather than the 6 string and bass variant. It has more jangle than a Rickenbacker and is simply fun. Astoundingly, it is also a pleasure to play and sounds wonderful on both necks. The lower neck is essentially a Danelectro U2

A Danelectro U2. Danelectro guitars were originally sold via the Sears catalog and were designed to be cheap and light. For this reason, they were made of Masonite (like suitcases) and pine or chipboard blocks. They have a type of pickup known as a lipstick pickup because they were made of surplus lipstick tubes. Given this, you would reasonably expect them to sound horrible. Remarkably, they sound good. The tone is unusually toppy with little sustain. They can sound very good when you want a lot of brightness in chords or lead work.