Sorry that it has been a while

Of course, I am far from sure if anyone actually reads this blog so it may be that no-one realized that I have been away.

Except, of course, that I haven't been away unless you count a 2 day trip to Germany for a meeting.

I have been busier than a centipede in a shoe shop because I have been trying to write some training materials for my company on what do do in conflict situations. I have to be honest and admit that I like writing almost any type of material but this has been an interesting challenge. I have developed techniques that I use as and when required to resolve problems that arise when dealing with internal and external customers. I am sure that everyone who deals with customers has their own set of "tools" that they use for handling the situations that arise. However, it is surprising difficult to formulate my behavior in to a set of rules that can be taught.

There were some things that stood out as key factors and I believe that these are true outside of the field where I work. Here are my thoughts on some of the things that are universally useful.

1. It is necessary to understand what both sides want out of any exchange. Ideally, you need to understand why both sides want these things as there may be a solution that the other person doesn't know about which you can suggest. At least you can understand why a person might seem so unhappy when you refuse what appears a frivolous request. Of course, you understand why you want what you want, don't you? Or possibly not. Often we want things because that is what we have always wanted in the past. The reasons for this may no longer apply. There is an old and almost certainly untrue story which I will steal to demonstrate my point. A British company was buying some electronic parts from a Japanese vendor. The British company specified a failure rate of 7 devices in every 10,000 since high reliability was required - and this had been something of a sticking point with the Japanese. When the contract was agreed and the devices delivered there was a small bag clearly labeled and separate to the main contents. The bag contained 7 devices, clearly and individually labeled as faulty.

2. Communication. It may be that there is no resolution that serves both parties. Without good communications, you will never know. Even if there is no solution, it can help a great deal to explain why you are not going to meet the other person's terms. When it is explained, often the other person can see that they wouldn't have agreed either.

3. When resolving a problem, someone will have to have control to make good progress. In a protracted process, control may shift back and forth if that makes sense in the situation. It may even be sensible to discuss control as a discussion moves in to different phases.

4. There is an old salesman adage. You can win an argument and lose a customer. There is some truth in that. It doesn't mean that you always have to cave in but it is worth considering what effect a win at any costs would have. Sometimes it can be better to leave the situation with each of you making a statement of position and agreeing that no mutually satisfactory agreement exists at that time.

Anyway, those were some of the thoughts that I had on the subject. I have no idea if they are of any use to you.